Speaking of Lack

Starting the morning off with my new checklist designed to help me speed up by slowing down - laying out exactly what I need to do and giving myself time limits - a place to stop - so that there is an automatic boundary and place to be "enough", I found myself pondering once again the subject of lack.

Why?

Because I was repeating it to myself as I went along after an especially trying evening with my youngest daughter - "it will never BE enough".

It struck me right away that I was in a place of lack again, not lack in the manner of time, but in manner of me. The knowing that I doing my best, and that it is good enough and then some, but acknowledging the nagging fear that I am not providing "enough" - even though consciously I know that I am.

This is a treadmill that can make you downright miserable and is almost unbeatable unless you take it by the horns as soon as you finding yourself "going there". The best thing that can happen to you is that you become aware that this is what is nagging you. Then you can beat it.

Since it is mostly psychological, it will usually be proceeded by triggers. It will creep upon you when you are tired, when you are over scheduled and especially when people complain at you or treat you in a disrespectful manner - even if they are not justified in their claims.

What to do?

Remember this quote.

"I am what I am, Dat's all what I am".

It's from Popeye, the original self development guru!

Don't let this insidious sense of lack interfere with your productivity and happiness.

And don't forget to examine your boundaries.

This is huge. Are you allowing people in your life to treat you in such a way that you feel "less than"? If so, your productivity, your creativity, and your joy is going to fly out the window. And it will show in your environment - your house and the feeling of peace that you are trying to achieve.

ACTION TIP

When you find yourself wondering if "you" are enough, in what ever area of life it may be, remember Popeye.

And set your boundaries. The best way to do this is gently. A soft resolve. Draw the line and don't allow it to be crossed without consequences. Make it clear and stand firm.

Crazy Buzy?

Today I was pondering what the reasons may be for my continual sense of hurry and rush.

I haven't always been this way, at one time, many years ago it seems, I just lived. I rushed when I had to go somewhere as I almost always lost my keys or spent too long on my hair (like I said, a loong time ago!)

But I didn't have the mindset that I do now, the constant need to fit 110% into a 100% time slot.

I first noticed it when my first child was born. An herein lies the key.

That was when I first started getting interupted on a regular basis.

So I started rushing to get everything and everything finished before the next interuption. (and it never seems to stop, actually it only gets bigger - he's 16 now and called me at 9 am from school yesterday to bring his backpack that he forgot - my first much anticipated "office day" in some time. The school is 45 min away!)

Anyway, I just interupted myself :0)

After that, I had a daughter, the another daughter, then a home business, then another home business.

They snowball onto themselves until life is almost one big interuption with me scurrying in between to "do something".

The one thing that all of this has in common is that I now have an ingrained fear of lack.

I am constantly feeling a lack of time. Like "my time" has been taken away from me. It's a common Mom thing. We're doing something bigger, we need to keep site of that, but the fact is, our time... our life... is no longer our own.

The good news is that there are ways to make it better.

The first one is to step back and breath, on a regular basis :0)

Hurrying and scurrying becomes so much a part of us that we don't even realise that this has become our mindset.

Slow down. Life is not going to get away on you. Ironically, the more you chase it, the farther away it gets.

Tomorrow I will post a very easy and practical tool that you can use to change your mindset instantly. It works for me!

ACTION TIP FOR TODAY

Look at your mind set. What condition is it in?

Are you rushing constantly, even when you really don't have to. Are you always trying to fit one more thing in just because you can (or even when you can't) You need to step back.

Take a deep breath. It will relax you and energize you. And give you a moment to pause.

Do this as often as possible through out the day.

Remember - no matter how fast you go, there are only 24 hours in a day, you can't change that!
And they are a limited comodity. Better enjoy them NOW.

Maybe It's In the WAY That You Spend It

My daughter was getting ready for school this morning and was having a problem locating her backpack (which was supposed to have been located and loaded last night, rule #1, check for yourself that all is in order that is supposed to be for the next day – our new rule is no tv until everything is order for school tomorrow)

I wasn’t of much help because #1, I had no idea where she had put it and #2, she has two, one older one that is very similar to the new one.

It occurred to me – why does she even have two? There is a pretty good reason, the old one was still usable but it’s nice to send them off to a new year with new school supplies, so she got a new one in Sept. But it did get me thinking that she has far too many “twos” (or more)

Both of my daughter’s have “shoe collections”. When I was a kid I had one pair that lasted me the entire year, my "good" shoes for school became my play shoes for summer (besided winter boots and one pair of slippers)

So I got pondering why this is. We are not rich. When they where young, they got a lot of “new to you” things from relatives, but we never went overboard on shopping.

And it hit me. I never used credit cards back then. It wasn’t so easy to cave when they wanted something, frivolous purchases just where not the norm.

It is nice to be able to pick up some extras sometimes, but I think the availability of credit in our house has created a few problems.

Firstly, I just did bills last night, and we never seem to get far with our credit card payments. As fast as we pay, they are “loaded” again.

Secondly, there is so much more clutter than I ever had growing up. Because we just have too much. Mostly stuff that isn’t even used, or so junky that it breaks after a week or so.

It also does nothing to teach the kids that everything doesn’t grow on trees. My 2 older “pre credit card” kids seem to know this lesson and pay for most of their own extras. But my youngest resembles a movie star marching through the store - she'll take one of everything some days. One time I bought her a doll that she “had to have” and when we got it home I forgot to give it to her. She never noticed! Ever!

It was an eye opener for me.

I think that I am going to go back to cash when shopping at the mall in particular. Cash for groceries as opposed to the debit card also helps to cut spending. That’s a whole other story.

ACTION TIP

Think about your spending habits. Not so much what you spend it on, but how you are spending it. Look into the habit of using cash or the envelope system.

Get your shopping habits under control and the benefits will trickle down in many ways.

PS - I came across this handy tool that is the answer to a lot of the problems that I and many of us have with tracking our spending, especially when using credit and debit cards as well as cash.

It's called Budget Map, it works just like a check register only it includes your budget and/or tracking system for all areas.

It's very simple to use - my kind of thing (if it's not simple, it won't work for me!)

Budget Map - Makes it easy to keep it together for a change!